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ADD and ADHD
Alcohol
and Teen Drinking
Anger
in Our Teens and in Ourselves
Asperger
Syndrome
Attachment
and Attachment Disorders
Conduct
Disorder
Counseling
and Therapy
Drugs
and Teen Substance Abuse
Emotional
Health
Help
your Teen Adjust to a Stepfamily
Helping
Teenagers with Stress
If A Teen Begins to Fail in School
Parenting
Teens
Peer
Influence and Peer Relationships
Permissive
Parenting
Post-Traumatic
Stress Disorder
Red
Flags
Runaways
and Missing Children
Teen
Violence
What
Parents Can Do to Change Their Child's Behavior Before The
Teen Years
What
Should Parents and Teachers Know About Bullying?
When
Your Teen is in Trouble with the Law
Youth
Who Drop Out
Teen Behavior Problems: More
Information

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How
can you tell if your teen's behavior is a problem?
Could
it be just 'normal teenage rebellion'? Is it
a behavioral disorder such as Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD), a
pattern of negative, defiant and disobedient behavior, or
Conduct
Disorder, where
your child repeatedly and persistently violates rules and
the rights of others without concern or empathy?
Perhaps the most important question of all
for parents to consider is,
How much distress, disruption,
and heartache are your child's problems causing?
How are your child's problems
affecting the family, your marriage, you, the child himself/herself?
The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Health Disorders, Fourth
Edition, Text Revision of the American Psychiatric Association defines
oppositional defiant disorder (ODD) as a recurrent pattern of negativistic,
defiant, disobedient, and hostile behavior toward authority figures that
persists for at least 6 months.
Behaviors
included in the definition are the following:
-
losing
one’s temper
-
arguing
with adults
-
actively
defying requests
-
refusing
to follow rules
-
deliberately
annoying other people
-
blaming
others for one's own mistakes or misbehavior
-
being
touchy, easily annoyed or angered, resentful, spiteful, or vindictive.
ODD
is usually diagnosed when a child has a persistent or consistent pattern of
disobedience and hostility toward parents, teachers, or other adults.
The primary behavioral difficulty is the consistent
pattern of refusing to follow commands or requests by adults.
Children
with ODD often are
-
stubborn
-
test
limits and push boundaries
-
easily
annoyed
-
lose
their temper
-
argue
with adults
-
refuse
to comply with rules and directions
-
blame
others for their mistakes.
The
criteria for ODD are met only when the problem behaviors occur more frequently
in the child than in other children of the same age and developmental
level. These behaviors cause significant difficulties with family and
friends, and the oppositional behaviors are the same both at home and in
school. Sometimes, ODD may be a precursor of a conduct
disorder.
Risk
factors for teen behavior problems include:
-
Family
conflict
-
Academic
failure in elementary school
-
Friends
who engage in alcohol and drug use, delinquent behavior, violence, or other
problem behaviors
-
Peer
rejection
-
Family
history of a problem behavior
-
Favorable
parental attitudes to problem behavior
-
Witnessing
family violence
Family
instability, including economic stress, parental mental illness, harshly
punitive behaviors, inconsistent parenting practices, multiple moves, and
divorce may also contribute to the development of oppositional and defiant
behaviors.
ODD
is not diagnosed if the problematic behaviors occur exclusively with a mood
or psychotic disorder
The
following interventions have been used to help replace defiant, oppositional
behavior with responsible behavior:
-
Family
and individual counseling to determine underlying issues and learn
strategies for behavior change.
-
Parenting
support groups to help guide and empower
parents.
-
Parenting
classes to help learn ways of providing consistency, structure, and a
positive, less stressful home environment.
-
A
strong and positive working relationship between parents and teachers.
In
addition, the following parenting strategies are helpful:
-
Listening to your teen. Listening and valuing adolescent ideas is what
promotes the ability of parents to effectively communicate with them. Most
parents do not listen well because they are too busy -- with work,
community, church, and home responsibilities. Listening to a teen does not
mean giving advice and attempting to correct the situation.
-
Talking about morals and ethical behavior. Passing along a
strong sense of values is one of the fundamental tasks of being a parent.
Parents need to talk to their children about what is right and wrong and
about appropriate and inappropriate behavior.
-
Dealing with what is important. Don't make a fuss about issues that are
reversible or don't directly threaten your child's or another person's
safety. These issues include unwashed hair, a messy room, torn jeans, etc.
Save your thunder for more important concerns. Safety is a non-negotiable
issue. Safety rules need to be stated clearly and enforced consistently.
-
Being consistent and holding your ground. There will be times
when adolescents won't like what you say or will act as though they don't
like you. Being your teen's friend should not be your primary role during
this time of their lives. It's important to resist the urge to win
their favor or try too hard to please them.
-
Avoiding arguments. Arguing only fuels hostility and it
doesn't get you heard. Don't feel obliged to judge everything your
teen says. Retain the mutual right to disagree. Never try to reason
with someone who is upset -- it is futile. Wait until tempers have cooled
off before trying to sort out a disagreement. Don't try to talk teens
out of their feelings. You can acknowledge someone's reaction without
condoning it. This type of response often defuses anger.
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