Focus Adolescent Services: The Range of Teenage Sexual Behavior

It is important for parents to understand what is "normal" sexual behavior in children and teenagers, and which behaviors might signal that a child is a victim of sexual abuse, or acting in a sexually aggressive manner towards others.

NORMAL RANGE

Sexually explicit conversations with peers
Obscenities and jokes within cultural norm
Sexual innuendo, flirting and courtship
Interest in erotica
Solitary masturbation
Hugging, kissing, holding hands
Foreplay, (petting, making out, fondling) and mutual masturbation: Moral, social or familial rules may restrict, but these behaviors are not abnormal, developmentally harmful, or illegal when private, consensual, equal, and non-coercive.
Monogamist intercourse: Stable monogamy is defined as a single sexual partner throughout adolescence. Serial monogamy indicates long-term (several months or years) involvement with a single partner which ends and is then followed by another

YELLOW FLAGS

Although many of these are not necessarily outside the range of behavior exhibited in teen peer groups, some evaluation and response is desirable in order to support healthy and responsible attitudes and behavior.

Sexual preoccupation/anxiety (interfering in daily functioning)
Pornographic interest
Polygamist sexual intercourse/promiscuity -- indiscriminate sexual contact with more than one partner during the same period of time.
Sexually aggressive themes/obscenities
Sexual graffiti (especially chronic and impacting individuals)
Embarrassment of others with sexual themes
Violation of others' body space
Pulling skirts up/pants down
Single occurrence of peeping, exposing with known peers
Mooning and obscene gestures

RED FLAGS

Compulsive masturbation (especially chronic or public)
Degradation/humiliation of self or others with sexual themes
Attempting to expose others' genitals
Chronic preoccupation with sexually aggressive pornography
Sexually explicit conversation with significantly young children

STOP

Illegal behaviors defined by law

Obscene phone calls, voyeurism, frottage, exhibitionism, sexual harassment
Touching genitals without permission (e.g., grabbing, goosing)
Sexually explicit threats (verbal or written)
Sexual contact with significant age difference (child sexual abuse)
Forced sexual contact (sexual assault)
Forced penetration (rape)
Genital injury to others
Sexual contact with animals (bestiality)

NOTE: Bestial porn is illegal under current federal obscenity codes. Bestiality is specifically illegal in 30 states. Animal abuse/cruelty laws have been and can be used in all states. In other words, there are NO states where bestiality is legal.

Information provided by Missouri Division of Family Services.

BACK TO: Teen Sexual Behavior: Issues & Concerns

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